I could call it hibernation. Or I could call it lying fallow. But I won’t come at sterile. Sterile suggests permanence and that is unacceptable. Maybe hibernation? Lying fallow? Perhaps dormant would be better? It is after all just passed the Spring Equinox here down South and Spring is all about new life, regrowth, renewal and waking up. Not that we have much Spring bursting forth, our winter doesn’t get cold enough. (Wish it did!) However, having said that, today and yesterday it’s been cold and rainy. Very cold and rainy, sometimes windy.
Spring?
Two years ago, this time, we had heatwaves and a raging out-of-control bushfire down the road. People were evacuated onto the local beach. A friend’s adored dog was staying in a dog resort (kennel, but he doesn’t much like the term!) near the fires. The owner refused to evacuate because of his responsibility to the animals in his care. All were safe, but Ollie came home with kennel cough and security issues. I’d been told always how gentle Ollie was, a gentle giant, the family baby. Imagine when I visited having not yet met Ollie, and a huge Doberman leapt across the room, barking (VERY loudly), stopping about one centimetre (mouth open HUGE teeth) from my hand. I kept remarkably still considering the circumstances, although, considering the circumstances stillness was perhaps the only option. Didn’t step any further for several minutes, lunch postponed. Kennel cough? Security issues? Or simply a dog with a mean streak?
Back to the lying dormant/ in hibernation/ Springtime and the rhythm of life… Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen. No matter how much I remind myself of my values and my priorities. No matter how much re-focussing and positive visualisation I practise. No matter how much I beat myself up or promise myself treats or try sensory deprivation or… just no chocolate, it doesn’t happen.
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Creativity, or let’s say my creativity disappeared for a while here. There are reasons. And there are many excuses. And sometimes/often life gets in the way. And maybe I’m not committed enough or… I don’t know. If I knew, then it wouldn’t happen, would it?
I’ll give you an example of my life here in this quiet little town. I’ve just returned from walking out to the kitchen to pour the cup of tea I’d made a few sentences back. Sitting on the back of the chair , gazing into the kitchen, singing his little heart out, was one of the butcher birds. Feathers all wet, rain coming down, how could I not take the time to feed him? The resident magpie, currently feeding babies, zoomed in. More feeding. By now the tea’s cold and the writing? well, who knows! I could go out and check the mail but the neighbourhood cats who are constantly hungry will mill about. Do you know how difficult it is not to feed begging animals? Or am I easily distracted?
A begging and hungry cat.
Back to the rhythm of life which at heart is my excuse for a long silence. I don’t understand it. The more I try to control it the more unsuccessful I am. It’s all a mystery.
However, the new roses sprout more leaves every day. I picked the first sugar snap peas yesterday. The rocket is seeding in the lawn as well as the gardens. The kitchen table has vases of poppies and sweet peas.
I’ve been asking myself what I would want to do most if I knew I had a limited time left for living.
Making gardens, being with the people I love… Simple things, sitting at the beach, floating on the water, watching for whales… what really matters? What haven’t I done?
What really matters for you?
katesclippings 
Hi Kate,
We too have a butcher bird and a family of maggies to feed. The maggies will tap on our glass door to let us know that they are needing food for their babies. We have been told not to make them dependent on us (mainly by my sister) but we just adore having them come onto the verandah, even though we are constantly disinfecting the deck table and cleaning woopsies off chairs.
A friend told me,- I was worrying about feeding wild creatures because of the disapproval of my brother… anyway, a friend told me of hearing an expert say that it’s like takeaway for them- not their staple, just a treat. So I’ll keep on supplying raw mince! Maybe, as the garden grows, we’ll get some smaller birds.
Joshua brought a dog home (its former owner is in jail/goal)…its about 9 years old…was left on the streets…has certainly fallen on its feet (three legs anyway…fourth is pretty useless…has a displaced kneecap)…anyway it now has found a home,,,he’s a cross (in more ways than one) between a black Labrador and a Staffy…very affectionate…very playful…wants to fight all other dogs(definitely not sociable with his own species)…limps…has arthritis as well…thinks he’s an “inside” dog…loves company…I’m learning to love him (the way he wants to be loved)…pat him rub his tummy throw his kong (actually Chris does that)…I used to take him for a daily walk (but he finds that difficult now)…he’s a good watch-dog…will come and sit at my feet (or Chris’) if we work in our rooms…otherwise he sits/sleeps at the end of the lounge…he’s a welcome addition to the family…you can learn a lot from an animal….Peace/love…Bernie.
The creatures who come into our lives! And the human ones, some of whom come and go! Sounds good to me Bernie.
I love the first photo of the flowers!!
Our Emma dog, whom I adopted 4 years ago, is now 8 and she’s the most important “person” in our household.
Animals can provide comfort, lift our spirits, companionship… their role can be so significant. I am “petless” at the moment; I’m enjoying the freedom, but…My first cat who went to cat heaven two years ago, visited my home a couple of weeks after my last dog had died. I still believe he sent her! She clearly had a home- wore a collar with a bell, but insisted on living with me. I accepted the gift. (I did attempt to find her owners.) Hope you’re going as well as possible. I’m glad you have Emma.
Wonderful picture of the many-colored garden (field?) of flowers. Sounds like you’ve been living in the moment attuned to the animal’s needs. Time will come to write things down. I think fallow is a state of being when seeds and life force are present underground and will blossom forth in their own season. ❤
Wise, as ever! Yes, I believe fallow to be an essential stage of growth and life; it’s accepting myself, and whatever state I’m in, without judgement I find the challenge. It’s been a time of change.
Oh, Kate. I was so happy to wake up to your “like” this morning. This post is lovely! Hmmmm, what is important to me? Living in the moment, I would say, especially since Charley’s diagnosis. Time just flows by and just breathing the fresh air after a rain is important and revitalizing. . Did I mention that I’m glad to see your smiling face this morning? Well, I am!
Yes, living in the moment! I find I am still freeing myself from the shoulds and musts. Some probably related to my Protestant upbringing. (So many things to explore through writing!)
Charlie’s diagnosis? I don’t know about this. You mentioned in an early comment, we could be sisters… I’m seeing more and more things we have in common! (and enjoying it.)
and I must write a post about “that” photo! therein lies a tale.
Keep working on that freedom thing. It’s really important!
Charley was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer eight years ago. Bad prognosis that I didn’t accept. I became his advocate and he has been involved in some top notch clinical trials. He was recently declared to be in remission. Not cured, yet, but that will happen! I wrote about it during our WordPress blogging 101 course in July. We had to write a post from the prompt “Right To Brag”. I wrote about him. Yes, we could be sisters. I actually changed the subtitle of my blog because of you. I’m glad you’re blogging again. It’s nice to chat. Take care.
I think our animal friends are ‘pleasant distractions’ . . . and also a method of pulling us into the now for a bit, into ‘their now’ too.
I think it’s time for a fresh Spring profile pic Madam Gresham? 🙂
I guess it is a bit winter! I need a photo- suggestions? I like this one because it doesn’t take my too seriously.
Speaking of animal distractions, I have three visiting cats on my front veranda, as we speak.
3’s the Charm!
Kate, It’s almost Sunday morning here in Rhode Island and I was just closing down my lap top. But then I saw that you had read my latest blog post and I was so happy to see your smiling face!!!! Yay!!!! How are you? Hugs and wishes for a peaceful Sunday or Monday, because I can’t do the math right now to figure the time difference. Your kindred spirit in RI, Clare